Aporkalypse Now
You bipeds have spoken and have chosen the delicious-sounding pandemic as the health and safety story of the year. Safety Cat is pleased.
In a very accurate and scientific poll conducted by human editor, Jerry Laws, 56 percent of human readers chose H1N1 as the biggest safety and health story of the year [ no word yet on how four-legged readers voted, but Safety Cat predicts the pork flu virus will receive 100 percent of the vote.]. The second biggest story, with 29 percent of the human votes [four-legged vote: 0 percent], was OSHA issuing its largest fine ever at $87 million to BP.
When Safety Cat first heard of this delicious pig flu, he thought to himself Well, considering how filthy those swirly-tailed things lived, Safety Cat is not surprised at all! But, as he was hoarding cans of pork feast with gravy to get him through the Great Pork Famine of aught nine, he discovered that the pork flu was just a nastier version of the human flu virus.
Safety Cat was angry. Angry that you bipeds had tricked him into thinking that he would not have access to a delicious pork chop. But then, as WHO began reporting that the pig flu would become a pandemic, he grew worried. If his human caught it, who would open his cans of pork feast in gravy!? No one, that's who.
As always, humans, your safety is Safety Cat's number one concern, so when CDC reported that the pig flu was milder than expected, he was relieved.
Safety Cat knows why the delicious-with-gravy flu was the most important health and safety story of the year for him, but why was it for you, readers?
Leave your reasons below.
Until next time, have a happy why-is-there-suddenly-a-prickly-tree-in-Safety-Cat's-house day.
Meow.
S.C.
Posted by Safety Cat on Dec 22, 2009